Here’s another thing that is really starting to wear thin. Whenever an author does something, anything at all, everyone huddles around them and congratulates them for a job well done.

Guys, enough! It’s like saying “I managed to get out of bed this morning”, followed by a round of applause. Writers write. It’s what we do. Stop acting like managing to do something that you’re supposed to be doing anyhow is somehow magical!

 

I suppose it would be one thing if it was something extraordinary but it rarely ever is. “I wrote a chapter!” The amount of celebration that goes up is deafening! That’s not really impressive, sorry. “I managed to get down 500 words today!” So what? That doesn’t really matter, except for the newest of the newbie writers and that shouldn’t last long. That’s not a victory. That’s a Monday.

Granted, we all know what’s going on here. It’s just people seeking validation validating others so they’ll reciprocate. That makes it a gigantic masturbation circle jerk and that’s not really useful for anyone.

This goes back to the realistic expectations that I talk about a lot. Most people can’t figure that out. They’re looking for a constant dopamine hit in the head and that’s not really how this works either. Here’s the reality, one that a lot of amateur writers are not going to like. Way back in the day when I finished the first draft on a book, I got an emotional high that went on for days.

Now? I get maybe 5 minutes if I’m lucky. I write a lot of books. I finish a lot of things. The highs don’t last very long. They don’t actually matter. If that’s what you’re looking for in life, prepare to be very disappointed because that’s not how reality works.

When you show up to work, everyone doesn’t turn out to applaud that you managed to arrive on time. That’s expected. When you meet expectations, they don’t throw you a party. That’s expected. If you exceed expectations, that might be another matter, they might give you a bonus because  you went above and beyond the call of duty. Even that though, it isn’t the money that ought to motivate you necessarily, but showing how capable you are. Showing off to other people really isn’t that important. It’s proving how capable you are to yourself that really matters.

So many people are just looking for validation though and that’s childish. They want to be made to feel good, not to perform what they know they need to do. I didn’t wake up this morning and write 6500 words, just so I could go and post my progress on a writing forum and everyone could celebrate my progress. I very rarely ever do that. If I do, it isn’t for my own edification, it’s to show other people that if they put their mind to it, they can do it too.

Most of the time, that backfires. I’ve written about that before. People will sit there in awe that I accomplished something because that’s what they’ve been programmed to do. That’s not the point though. The point is to encourage others to do the same thing. Put yourself out there and make some progress. If I can do it, so can you! Most of these self-congratulatory forum threads are really sad if you read through them. “I didn’t manage to do anything today!” Then why are you posting? Come back tomorrow and get something done!

I get that some people supposedly do it for reasons of accountability. If you tell people what you’re doing, they’re going to get upset on those occasions that you fail. That’s never how it works though because, as I said earlier, it’s a mutual masturbation society.  When they mess up, nobody calls them on it, they throw some meaningless motivational mewlings out there and that’s the end of it. If you need someone to motivate you, look in the mirror. If you can’t do that, you need some serious help and that’s not going to come from a bunch of know-nothings online. You are responsible for your own performance. Stop making excuses and make it happen.

Please, can we stop celebrating non-accomplishments? It’s just memorializing mediocrity. Be proud of people who hit those big milestones, not barely managing to drag themselves out of bed. Nobody is going to push themselves to improve if they get a constant dopamine shot in the noggin from people saying “you did great!” all the time. Actually do great things. Then, you deserve to be proud.