This one comes in a very roundabout way. Every year Joe Bob Briggs’ Last Drive-In does a Walking Dead special and someone, who knew I was a fan of the show, asked if I’d seen it. That’s the one thing that I skip every year because I really do not like the Walking Dead.

Here’s why.

To be honest, it’s for pretty much the same reason I actively dislike the 2004 Battlestar Galactica reboot. It’s the characters.

I liked the first mini-series for Battlestar Galactica. I thought it was pretty well done, although the shaky cam sucked, but otherwise, it was decent enough. Thereafter though, it went downhill because I realized, very early on, that I actively hated the characters. They were assholes. Not just rough around the edges, not just a little tense, I wanted them dead. That’s not something I can say about the original 70s version, where the characters were generally positive and likeable. The reboot, I wanted them to die. I wanted the Cylons to win, until I saw all the worst aspects of the Cylons, then I just wanted them all to fly into a star, which is kind of how the stupid show ended. Good riddance.

For Walking Dead, it’s the same thing. For those who don’t know, and I’d be surprised if anyone hasn’t figured it out, the walking dead aren’t the zombies, it’s the people who survived. Almost every single one of them is a reprehensible asshole. There are a couple that were passable, but none really had any positive aspects. They were jerks, screwing each other over at the first opportunity and I have no interest in that. Therefore, we dropped the show.

We bought the first two seasons on DVD, although the second season is still in plastic. It’s been sitting there for years that way. I really don’t care. I think we got to the first episode of the 3rd season and my wife and I decided, about half-way through, to drop the show. We never watched any more and I don’t think we missed anything. If there’s no one worthwhile to root for, why bother?

This is a thing in a lot of modern TV shows. The characters are all assholes. There was a show on not long ago called Death and Other Details. It sucked. Every single character was a reprehensible prick. We watched to the end, hoping it would get better but it never did. It was crap to the end and it didn’t get renewed for a second season. Good riddance to that too.

Whatever happened to making characters enjoyable? Why are there so many shows where the characters are jerks? I don’t know but I’m not going to be watching any that can’t write a positive character. There’s a lot of stuff on otherwise and even if it all goes that way, I’ve got thousands of DVDs to watch. I don’t need new shows. I’ve got the good ones from the past.

Walking Dead just didn’t earn my viewership, any more than Battlestar Galactica did. Maybe it’s geared for post-modernist idiots, but that’s not me. I’ve got other things to do than watch people hate each other, just for the fact that they exist. Anyone making a show today? Don’t do that. You’ll just drive away your audience, which is probably why so many shows fail out of the gate these days.

They deserve it.