There are some shows that go on way the hell too long and Haven has unfortunately been one of them. It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I really looked forward to the show every week and thought Syfy had something special, but after the destruction of the barn, all that changed and the show has just limped lamely through season after season, having lost everything that once made it great.
Honestly, it makes no sense at all to consider this part of Haven season 5 when part two has as many episodes as an entire season regularly does. Why not call it season 6 and be done with it? Because most Syfy shows only go 5 seasons at best, I guess they don’t want to play favorites? I have no idea. But let’s take a look at the last of Haven and see what trouble Audrey Parker is getting into now.
For the entirety of the season, Haven has been cut off from the rest of the world by a mysterious fog that no one but Duke can penetrate. After Duke releases all new troubles on the town and then takes off for parts unknown, lots of people die and the town becomes the target of Croatoan who wants to destroy everyone and everything. As our intrepid cast rushes to create a new barn that will cure all of the troubles forever, who wins? The evil Croatoan or our plucky cast of misfits?
In the end, I really didn’t care. Croatoan was played by William Shatner, which was kind of fun, but to be honest, they didn’t explore his character in any meaningful way, he was just evil for the sake of being evil and he desperately wanted Audrey to be his daughter and continue Mara’s experiments with him. So much of the season was just a waste of time, I wish they had dropped most of the “Haven in exile” episodes and just explored the Croatoan storyline, that would have been much more interesting but instead, we got Duke robbing banks, we got hiding in schools, we got being afraid of the dark, none of which really meant a damn thing in the end. But that’s really the problem with a lot of these shows that get some extra time to wrap things up, nothing really means anything. Duke died a hero. So what? Character deaths under these circumstances are meaningless because there’s no shock to them. We know the show is over. You could nuke the town and it wouldn’t matter. There was no drama, it was a whimper, a shadow of the show’s former self.
And perhaps worst of all, in the end they wimped out. Since maybe season 3, we’ve known that Audrey was destined to go into the barn to end the troubles for 27 years. This time, she was going to go away forever. I wish they had left it at that. Bringing her back in the end made the sacrifice entirely meaningless. Dwight sacrificed his daughter to end the troubles, but he didn’t lose her. Nathan sacrificed Audrey to end the troubles, but he didn’t lose her. Where was the sacrifice? There wasn’t one. And when you figure that Croatoan wound up as a good guy, watching over Haven, Audrey’s supposed sacrifice was pretty much meaningless. They just wrapped everything up in a feel-good ending that felt like a total waste of time. I was hoping for something better.
Seriously, I hate Syfy’s way of doing these shows. The actors are signed to 5 year contracts and if they bring them back, it’s much more expensive so they kill all of their shows at 5 years or earlier. But because they have these preset schedules, there really isn’t a surprise when a show goes off the air and they wrap it all up in a nice, neat little bow unless the show does badly in the ratings and they dump it early. But life isn’t necessarily nice and neat. It shouldn’t all be rainbows and kittens. Sacrifices ought to mean something significant. Loss ought to matter. It just didn’t in this series and that really killed it for me.