This week, we drop from 13 shows to 7 shows and we drop even more this week as we move into the summer doldrums. I don’t think we add any shows until the end of June, therefore, it’s going to be slow going for a while. We bid adieu to Arrow, Elementary, Mentalist and Warehouse 13 this week. Arrow, Elementary and Mentalist are already renewed for another season and Warehouse 13 goes off over the horizon forever. That’s going to leave us with just 24, Believe (not on this week and already cancelled, they’re just burning off episodes), Continuum, Orphan Black and Penny Dreadful. I’m going to have to find more stuff to watch! Let’s take a look at this week’s show on TV Thursday – 5/22/14.
24 #9×04 – “Day 9: 2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.” – Oh look, it’s another episode where everyone is renegade and nobody follows orders! Big surprise! We start with Simone and Navid in bed, he tells her that he wants to escape from her mother’s plans, he’s got the entire thing worked out and he wants Simone to come with him. She says she’ll think about it but instead goes to her mother and spills the whole plot. Simone begs Margot not to kill Navid, who she really needs to pilot the drones, because she’s in love with him and Margot says that’s good for him but she’ll do whatever she must do to make the plan work. We’re supposed to think that Navid is going to end up a bloody mess. Jack gets into the embassy and finds his way to the cell of the doomed drone pilot where he manages to tell him that he believes he didn’t fire the missile but he needs his flight key to prove it. Jack beats up the officer in the room, takes the key and leaves Tanner handcuffed to the chair. However, the alarm has been raised and there’s no way for Jack to get out of the embassy. He has Chloe direct him to the communications room where he can transfer the data out on a secure line but the flight key is encrypted and won’t go. Adrian has a decryption program that he sends to Jack, but since the computer he’s on is very slow (why? Who knows!), it’ll take 20-30 minutes for the files to decrypt and then send and the Marines are on the way! Jack has a couple of hostages at his disposal and he tells the Marines that he’s going to kill them, then he shoots a couple of Marines in their body armor so they’re not hurt. Meanwhile, Heller is talking to Parliament and doing better than in his first attempt, at least they listen and even applaud at the end. However, the Marines need Heller’s direct authorization to move in. Why didn’t they just ask Mark, he hasn’t got a problem forging the President’s authorization! Anyhow, Heller demands to talk to Jack first and Kate and Erik get patched into the call so they can eavesdrop. They think Jack is onto something but the CIA chief Navarro can’t do anything without authorization. Hell, everyone else is running by their own rules, what’s wrong with him? Heller tries to reason with Jack but Jack says he needs another 15 minutes to complete the decrypt and Heller won’t wait. Why didn’t Heller just have Jack come out with the files? He only needs to decrypt them if he’s going to transmit them to Chloe. Anyhow, Heller tells the Marines to do their thing, and Mark and Audrey argue over who knows Jack better. Unless Mark has been doing the horizontal hustle with Jack lately, it’s Audrey. Mark says he knew Jack was in town but he was keeping information from… I mean gathering information for Heller, that’s why he didn’t say anything. Sure! While the Marines were getting ready to breach the room, Kate gets up in the ventilation system and drops down into the room, trying to talk Jack down. The Marines break in but she’s already taken him into custody. That’s good because the Marine captain had already instructed his men to blow Jack’s brains out no matter what happened. As Navid was packing to leave, Simone and her mother come into the room and when Navid says he’s not playing her game anymore, Margot cuts off one of Simone’s fingers to convince him. He gets convinced as Simone screams a lot, understandably. Margot commands her minions to find the ten drones with the biggest payload closest to London and tells Navid he’s going to take over and fly them if he doesn’t want his wife to get worse at playing the piano. Well, four episodes in and we still haven’t taken any time out of the countdown. Come on, we have 12 hours to ditch here! I continue to be struck, and I know I shouldn’t be, by how many characters are following the beat of their own drum in this series. Kate, understandably upset that she’s being booted out of her CIA job, goes renegade in an attempt to win back her place, but she does it by directly violating the orders of her superior, kidnapping foreign national, interfering in a Marine operation, etc. All of these are things that would get her tossed into the brig, yet nobody notices. Mark does the same thing, he lies, hides things from his boss, forges signatures, tries to get Jack handed over to the Russians under the table, etc. Heller, who really shouldn’t be in office anyhow, goes from moments of lucidity to insanity. Even the terrorists can’t keep it together. Navid decides he’s going to walk away from his mother-in-law’s crazy terrorist plans and if you can’t trust the terrorists, who can you trust? Yet this is really 24’s gameplan and always has been. It’s not a show about the efficiency and skill of the government, it’s a show about Jack Bauer going off the rails, and with good reason because pretty much everyone else is trying to stab him in the back. It’s a show about government corruption, not about people who can follow orders and get the job done. It’s pretty clear that Audrey is going to follow her own path, Adrian is going to stab Chloe in the back (hopefully not literally), in fact, the people who actually do what they’re supposed to do are seriously outnumbered here by the people who don’t care. It’s not a few bad apples in the bunch, it’s a bunch of bad apples. That kind of thing bothers me and yes, I probably shouldn’t be watching the show at all in that case because that’s what it’s about, but hey, I’m a glutton for punishment.
Arrow #2×23 – “Unthinkable” – And so the season ends on yet another bang, but this one is bigger and more explosive than last year by far. Our gang starts out in the clock tower, trying to work out a plan against Slade and hoping that the mirakuru cure they gave to Roy worked. Felicity has activated the tower’s surveillance system, just in case Slade’s army comes to kill them. Slade’s army comes to kill them. While Oliver and team fight, Roy wakes up and immediately tries to punch out one of the Deathstrokes, but when it doesn’t work, clearly the cure did it’s job and Roy is back to normal. Unfortunately, they really could have used him right then and the whole team goes sliding out of the clock tower, just as Lyla Michaels, also known as Diggle’s ex-wife, comes by in a helicopter and launches an RPG into the clock tower, blowing up all of the Deathstrokes. Of course, it was extremely convenient, her coming along at just the right time with an explosive device, but it was nice to see her. They head back to the Arrow cave, which has been totally trashed by rampaging Deathstrokes, and Lyla tells them she came into Starling City to help stop the situation which is forcing her boss, Amanda Waller, to destroy the entire city in the morning. Lyla and Diggle get fresh and it’s clear they’d rather go off and have some private time, but there’s no time for that now. Oliver insists everyone look for supplies, especially “injection arrows” that he can use to pump the mirukuru addicts full of his magical new cure. Roy, who slept through the entire crisis so far, apparently has no time getting up to speed and Oliver gives him a nice red mask to go with his hoodie. Meanwhile, Thea shot her father in the chest and doesn’t stick around to see if he’s dead. Of course he isn’t. Kevlar. Ever heard of it? He pops up just as she’s walking away and she isn’t all that surprised. He’s clueless though, he can’t understand why Thea won’t immediately embrace him as her long lost father, even though he’s a psychopath who killed more than 500 people. He is really impressed that Thea didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. I guess it runs in the family. Back over at police headquarters, newly re-minted Detective Lance is trying to motivate the few officers he has left, being the highest ranking officer around at the moment. Considering they’re dropping like flies, maybe Lance can call in the national guard already! Anyhow, they get a call over the radio that it’s like ‘nam out there, which really encourages the troops. Sarah has gone missing and Quentin sends Laurel to look for her, so long as she doesn’t leave the precinct. Well what if Sarah left the precinct? It’s okay, she didn’t, in fact, she’s brought in reinforcements in the form of the League of Assassins. One of them puts a sleep dart into Laurel before she can utter more than a handful of words. Nice! Sarah brings her bestest buddies, including the ever-loveable Nyssa al Ghul over to the Arrow cave, which luckily isn’t all that private anymore, and tells Ollie he’s got backup. Ollie isn’t happy though, he doesn’t want anyone to die and the League of Assassins isn’t known for their discretion. Of course, to get their help, she’s had to agree to go back to assassining? That’s got to be a word. But Ollie hardly notices that, he’s just afraid that they might kill someone, like all of those Deathstroke guys who are killing lots of people. It’s really a little late to worry about killing people, considering our ex-Mrs. Diggle already took out a bunch of them with a rocket propelled grenade. What, do we think those guys weren’t killed? So he makes everyone promise to play nice, loads them all up with cure-filled arrows and away they go. Roy calls Thea, who is still arguing with her crazy father on the train platform, and agrees to meet him at his place. Dad decides not to chaperone. Apparently nobody notices Roy took off. The rest of the team arrives at Queen Consolidated, which Slade has been using as a base of operations and that’s mighty convenient. After taking out a guard who makes one of the oddest sounds I’ve heard in the show to date. They fight their way through the offices, stabbing every Deathstroke with the cure until they reach the CEO’s office where Slade and Isabel wait. Isabel is in that stupid Ravager costume again, the one that makes her look like she has a massive forehead. Sorry, that thing still sucks. Oliver and Sarah stand there and Slade goes “why did you come alone?” and they say “we didn’t!” just as the Assassins come swinging in through the windows in the back. How did they get out there? Who knows! Slade has an escape plan, he has a zip line that goes way the hell over to another building and instead of firing arrows at him or something, Oliver just watches him slip-sliding away. However, Ravager is still there and even though defeated, Sarah threatens to kill her and Oliver has to talk her down. That doesn’t stop Nyssa though, who kills Isabel and Oliver doesn’t seem particularly broken up about it. He’s more upset that he can’t get close enough to Slade to give him the cure, still feeling bad that he tried (and pathetically failed) to kill Slade instead of cure him. But hey, instead of Ollie telling us about it, how about a flashback? Slade is freaking out and stabbing his crewmen with mirukuru while Oliver and Sarah watch. This is not a good way to inspire loyalty among your men. It doesn’t last long though because time has run out and Knyazev fires the last torpedo, the one that magically doesn’t have to have a kamikazee driver, into the Amazo, blowing up just behind Slade. Back to the present, where Quentin finds Laurel just as she’s waking up in the hallway. Apparently, she wasn’t important enough to go find earlier, or it was a really short-duration tranquilizer. However, no time for small talk, Laurel is kidnapped by a Deathstroke soldier and carried off to parts unknown. He runs over to Queen Consolidated, although how he knows Oliver will be there, we just don’t know, and begs for help finding Laurel. He’s a bit nervous about the appearance if the League, but hey, when you have masked super soldiers trashing your city, what’s a few ninja assassins? Felicity notes that the Deathstroke army is getting ready to get out of Dodge, gathering in the Giordano Tunnel, clearly a reference to Dick Giordano, long-time inker at DC who is well known for doing Green Lantern/Green Arrow comics. Apparently, they know that Amanda Waller’s drone is on the way and want to get out before the city is destroyed. When Arrow dares to suggest that the lives of thousands of people ought to come above Laurel, Quentin gets pissy and says Oliver ought to just kill all of the Deathstrokes and be done with it. Isn’t this the guy who wanted Oliver to stop killing? Roy waits for Thea, who finally arrives and he explains that he’s been out of his mind on a super drug for months. She says she knows, Syn told her. If that’s the case, what was all the angst about? They make up and kiss. Of course, it doesn’t last long because Felicity calls him and tells him to get to the tunnel, there’s a party about to start and he tells Thea he has to do something and asks if she trusts him. Of course she doesn’t trust him, she doesn’t trust anyone! He goes anyhow. Oliver takes Felicity to the old homestead and tells her to wait there. He says Slade wants to kill the person he loves and he really loves her. Maybe it’s Tuesday again, who knows. He loves everyone in this show on a rotating schedule. However, this is really a clever trick, Oliver located Slade’s cameras, planted earlier in the season, and knows Slade is watching. Yes, putting Felicity in danger, good plan! Diggle and Lyla go to A.R.G.U.S. and free the Suicide Squad, using them to put a kink in Amanda Waller’s plan. The problem is, it really isn’t the Suicide Squad, it’s Deadshot and two other guys who have never been in the show before, but I’m willing to make allowances for a cameo. Team Arrow attack the Deathstrokes in the tunnel and stab and shoot them all. It’s not like it’s difficult, they’re all just standing there. This is a convenient spot for a flashback, the Amazo is taking on water from the torpedo and Slade and Oliver are fighting as the water rises. Oliver throws the mirakuru into an unlikely fire and Slade throws Sarah off the boat, which is probably not a bad thing considering it’s sinking and all. At A.R.G.U.S., Diggle and Lyla tell Waller she has to stop the insanity and Waller tells Diggle that Lyla is pregnant with his child. Well that came out of nowhere, didn’t it? Oliver and the team finish up in the tunnel and then Oliver has to face Slade, but Slade has also kidnapped Felicity. Who didn’t see that one coming? Oliver puts down his weapons, but this was all a ruse, Felicity had a syringe of the cure, which she jabs into Slade’s neck and gets away. It was all somehow choreographed back at Oliver’s house. There’s a nice fight scene between Oliver and Slade, both in the past and in the present, and in the past fight, instead of curing Slade, he rams an arrow into Slade’s eye. In the present, Slade says he’s going to prove that Oliver is a killer and make him kill him. Apparently, Slade hasn’t seen the first season. Oliver doesn’t kill him though, although what happens next might be much more cruel. Ollie calls Waller and tells her to call off her drone, Slade is defeated. Later, Sarah is ready to go back to the League of Assassins and gives her leather jacket to Laurel. Dad is strangely okay with the whole thing, at least more okay than seeing Laurel in the jacket. However, as they start walking away from the ship, he starts coughing up blood, apparently one of the hits he took from a Deathstroke guy finally took effect? Who knows. Laurel calls 911 but where is Sarah? Seriously, they’re 50 feet from the boat. Roy goes back to find Thea but she’s left him a Dear Roy letter and has left with her father for places unknown. He cries and holds up his mask. Slade wakes up in a glass cage, which is probably more cruel than just killing him. They’re back on the island, which was now revealed to be a new A.R.G.U.S. prison. This is where Oliver is going to lock up all of his baddies. Is this supposed to be the Arkham Asylum Beachside Prison or something? Oliver and Felicity walk along the beach, she wonders if he really loves her and he wants to get his company back. That shouldn’t be too difficult since the CEO is dead. They get back to the plane and Felicity wonders how Oliver learned how to fly a plane. This apparently didn’t occur to her while they were flying to the island. We get a flashback and Oliver wakes up at an A.R.G.U.S. facility in Hong Kong and meets Amanda Waller for the first time. Off to next season, which has already been greenlit. There are some cool easter eggs. Slade’s being kept in, according to Diggle, a “Supermax”, which refers to a David Goyer project called “Supermax” a couple of years back, which was to star Green Arrow. There was something else that ought to be pointed out, that after Oliver stabbed Slade in the eye, Oliver must have taken his Deathstroke mask back to the island and stabbed another arrow through the eye so we could see the scene that opened the show back in episode 1. That’s kind of creepy when you think about it. The “I love you” scene between Oliver and Felicity was kind of creepy too, although there are a lot of ‘shippers out there who have been dreaming about it since the day the show went on the air. I’m glad to find out that it was more for show than real in the end though. Besides, there aren’t that many women in the show that Oliver hasn’t slept with, I’m not sure why Felicity would want him anyhow. Another point, since Diggle and Lyla were popping open all of the A.R.G.U.S. cages, where was Harley Quinn? We know she’s being kept there, why wasn’t she released? Even if the first time around was just a nod to the fans, you have to remember these things and keep the story consistent. There are a lot of questions still unanswered and, unfortunately, quite a few opportunities in the finale that they didn’t take advantage of, but it was such a big episode, there just wasn’t time. It just makes me look forward to season 3 even more.
Elementary #2×24 – “The Grand Experiment” – Last week, Sherlock burst into Mycroft’s bedroom while he and Watson were in bed together. Yeah, that didn’t go down well. However, Sherlock thought he had a good reason, someone is setting Mycroft up for murder, his fingerprints were found on a murder weapon and that’s going to be hard to explain away. Therefore, Sherlock tells Mycroft he needs to go into hiding until they can sort this whole thing out. Mycroft thinks it’s silly that anyone would target him, but Sherlock remote starts his car and it explodes. Sherlock takes Mycroft to a private library that Mrs. Hudson has been taking care of and tells him to keep his hands off the first editions and Watson. Mycroft is thankful that Sherlock is the only one who knows that his prints are on the murder weapon and Sherlock says he told MI-6. Why? Because he thinks it’ll get him in good with them and allow him to find the mole. Sherlock goes to meet with Sherrington and says he’s confident he can find his brother. Sherrington asks if Sherlock has any suspects, after all, Mycroft was sleeping with his assistant but Sherlock says it’s not Watson, even though she’s turned out to not be what he thought she was. Sherlock says he wants access to all of Mycroft’s files but they tell him that he doesn’t have the clearance and besides, Mycroft is still his brother and they have a right to be suspicious. Sherlock wishes them good luck finding Mycroft then, he might let them know if he comes across him. Back at the library, Joan starts to get hungry. Mycroft says that he heard Sherlock talking to their father about him when he was 15, describing Mycroft as a lazy, shiftless idiot. It bothered Mycroft that he had lower expectations than either Sherlock or their father and now he wants to prove that he’s better than they thought. Watson gets into a car with Sherlock and together they watch Azatan Books. She wonders why he bothered to rent a car for this and he says he didn’t, he just broke into one that happened to be across the street. The proprietor leaves and they break into the shop, looking for clues. Watson says there are a lot of books, just as you’d expect for a bookstore but Sherlock shows her that there’s a scrambler hidden inside a surge protector, it allowed the proprietor to make calls to the mole in MI-6. He looks at the tattoos they got last episode and the only thing he can make out are times and dates and cell tower information. Mycroft tells them that he was at all of those places when the calls were made and that doesn’t look good. However, Joan realizes that Sherrington was also at all of those places, he has to be the mole. Mycroft says that makes no sense, Sherrington is the one who brought Holmes in to work the case, but Sherlock knows that Sir Walter was the one behind it all. Just then, Sherrington calls Sherlock and asks for an update and he makes something up on the spot about Mycroft stealing some funds from one of their father’s charities. Sherlock starts examining all of the calls and Watson wants to help but he says he needs to get used to working alone in the evenings since she’s adamant about moving out and sends her to bed. In the morning, she finds note cards scattered around the house and Sherlock still awake working on the problem. He says that he’s matched up each of the calls with a subsequent event, except for one. He gets a call from Gregson, wanting him to come to the station and when he arrives, Gregson knows about Mycroft’s fingerprints. Why Sherlock doesn’t just tell Gregson the truth about it all, I’ll never know. Back at the brownstone, Sherrington comes to the door and wants to talk to Watson. She gives him a different story than Sherlock did and now he thinks they’re hiding Mycroft and becomes threatening. She reveals that she has a dozen members of the Everyone hacker collective on the line, watching everything they do. Sherrington leaves, saying he’ll deal with her later. She says she’ll see him at his murder trial. Holmes comes home, worried about her but she says she’s fine. In fact, she solved the last call, an Iranian was killed in what some consider a political assassination right in their backyard. Sherlock is still upset that she’s been in danger and calls Mycroft’s existence in their lives a cancer, but she points out that he’s been just as responsible as Mycroft. She tells him why Mycroft went back to MI-6 and he goes to the library to confront his brother. He’s confused why Mycroft would protect him and Mycroft says it’s because Sherlock is his brother. Sherlock says that his recovery program demands that he make amends for hurting Mycroft, which he will do in due time. Right now though, he goes to the dead Iranian’s apartment and recreates the blood splatter on the walls with red paint. Watson shows up and he explains that it couldn’t have been an assassination, the murder was too sloppy, there has to be another explanation. He tells her that their work is important and they’re very good at it and she agrees that she’s lucky to have fallen into his orbit, but if they live together, that’s all it will ever be. They’ll have to find a new way to work together once she’s got her own place and Sherlock realizes how Nadir, the dead Iranian, was murdered. Mycroft, meanwhile, finds Sherrington drinking in a bar, which Sir Walter wouldn’t like if he knew. Sherrington apologizes for what’s gone on and Mycroft asks what it will cost to fix things. It’s not about money, says Sherrington, he says that he’s worked hard for MI-6, but his superiors don’t value people like him. Mycroft threatens to shoot him but Sherrington says that if he dies, a letter will be sent to Les Millieux, telling them that he’s a spy and that will likely result in Mycroft, Sherlock and Joan ending up dead. Sherrington offers to take Mycroft somewhere quiet where he can kill him and spare the others. Sherlock reveals to Watson how Nadir was killed. The blood splatter proves that someone had thrown things at him with great force, Nadir was stoned to death. After looking through some e-mails, he finds that Nadir was having an affair with Afkami’s wife. The wife was supposed to burn the blood-soaked clothing but she didn’t and that evidence got turned over to the police. Gregson brings in Afkami and demands that he tell them everything he knows about the mole in MI-6. Gregson tells Sherlock that his brother should be in the clear but Bell comes in and says there’s a British National in the morgue. It’s Sherrington. Gregson says the only person with motive was Mycroft and puts out an APB, but Mycroft says he didn’t kill him, he only had a hand in his death. In order to protect Sherlock and Watson, Mycroft went to the NSA and told them about Sherrington. In turn, they went to Les Millieux and told them about Sherrington and they took him out. The NSA arranged a fire at Diogenes, along with a suitable corpse, and now Mycroft is officially dead. Sherlock says that Mycroft is stupid for not letting him handle things, but Mycroft hugs him and tells Sherlock he loves him before leaving. Joan takes a call for an apartment and while she’s negotiating the lease, Sherlock gets the packet of heroin from the book in his library, then goes to see Sir Walter. He asks if the offer to work officially for MI-6 was legitimate and when he is told that it was, he agrees to work for British Intelligence. Now while I’m somewhat glad that Mycroft is off the show, at least for the foreseeable future, it’s still a little sad and surprising the way he went. While he’s always been described as a stupid petty criminal, he proved to be the best of all of them when he gave up his old life to protect his brother and the woman he loved. Or liked. Whatever. Now that Joan is moving out, I’m left wondering how. After all, the brownstone is paid for and Joan doesn’t get a salary, all of the money comes from Holmes’ father, so how does she get an apartment in the first place? As Joan moves away from the center of the action, is this going to push them to work on separate cases? The best part of the show is the chemistry between Holmes and Watson and now that they’re not quite as close as they have been, is that going to affect the chemistry? I guess we have to wait until next season to find out.
Mentalist #6×22 – “Blue Bird” – We finally get to the season finale of Mentalist, but honestly, I forgot all about it, which shows you how impressed I’ve been lately. But anyhow, here’s how it all shakes out. Cho and Jane are checking out a crime scene on a college campus where a man is dead in a wading pool with a sword in his back. Cho says that Lisbon is leaving in a little over 10 days for D.C. and Jane says she won’t really go. However, since all evidence points to her leaving, she’s got her tickets and has signed her transfer papers, Jane wants to wrap this case up quick so he walks in, scans the room and the four witnesses and immediately points out to the police how they killed the guy in a drunken gambling disagreement. My question is, why did the cops call the FBI for this case? It seems to be out of their jurisdiction. For a guy in a hurry though, he wasn’t in much of a hurry as the next time we see them, a week has passed and Lisbon is ready to go to Washington D.C. tomorrow. Jane tells her that he’s happy for her and she deserves this and Abbott says there’s something wrong with him. However, something serious has happened, the FBI has gotten a letter from a serial killer who last killed in Florida 5 years ago and he claims he’s going to kill again soon. Since the Florida FBI failed to catch him, the higher ups want everyone on the case and therefore, all leaves and transfers are put on hold. This pisses Lisbon off but what can she do? Off the whole crew goes to Florida where they start interviewing people from the murder 5 years ago. The letter has a code in it that Lisbon solves pretty easily and they think there’s going to be a rendezvous at a particular hotel on a particular night and the murderer might be there. However, nobody is really what they seem. The ex-husband is now married and blames his daughter’s ex-boyfriend for the crime. The victim had a pretty creepy business partner who isn’t all that broken up that she’s dead. Jane and Lisbon go to the Blue Bird Inn and get rooms and Jane has filled Lisbon’s room with dresses, etc. She’s really impressed until she finds out that he booked all of this a week ago, before the letter was received by the FBI. Abbott and Cho are sitting with them and Jane admits he wrote the letter as a means to get Lisbon alone. She’s pissed and rightfully so, she goes back to her room to change and calls Pike in Washington D.C. and tells him that she’ll marry him. She’s headed to the airport to catch a flight while Patrick gets upset and gets drunk in the hotel room that he set up for the meet. Randolph, the ex-husband’s lawyer, breaks into the room with a gun, thinking he’ll find the killer there. He had been having an affair with his client’s wife, she was supposed to leave her husband and marry Randolph but she was taken away from him. He wasn’t the killer. Then Wes, the daughter’s ex-boyfriend broke into the room, again with a gun, again to find the killer. Jane offers both Randolph and Wes a drink while they wait for the killer, but he suddenly realizes he needs to go to the airport and stop Lisbon. Unfortunately for him, the real killers, Monica and her friend, the business partner, shows up with a gun and Jane texts “SOZ” to Abbott behind his back. Cho translates, Jane needs help and they rush to the room, but before they arrive, there’s a lot of shooting going on, Wes and Randolph are hit and so is Monica, but not seriously. Jane identifies the good guys and the bad guys and then takes Abbott’s car so he can get to the airport. Lisbon has been sitting on the plane, waiting through delays, and Jane forgets his ID in the car so the TSA won’t let him by. He climbs a gate, runs onto the plane and finally admits that he loves Lisbon before being dragged off. She seems more annoyed than anything else and tells him it’s too late. Abbott says he has to go to the airport and bail Jane out, the TSA doesn’t like it when people mess with their planes. While Jane is there, Lisbon comes in and says she’s not going to D.C., Pike will understand and they kiss. Yeah, I know a lot of people wanted this. I didn’t. Of course, now that it’s happened, the FBI are going to split them up because there’s no way in hell they’d allow two people involved in a romantic relationship to work together, right? Of course not! How f’ing stupid. See, the whole point of the show has always been that Jane is a damaged individual, emotionally ruined by the murder of his wife and daughter by Red John. Even though he finally killed Red John, we’ve never really seen him become “normal”. His job is to be a professional liar. He lies to everyone. Heck, in this episode alone, he lied to the FBI, he lied to Lisbon and he even lies to himself. He spends a lot of time in the last couple of episodes telling Lisbon he wants her to be happy because he can’t bring himself to be honest with her. This is not an emotionally healthy man and we haven’t seen him improve throughout the course of the show. To make the closest comparison I can, Castle’s Richard and Kate make a much better couple because Castle, while he’s got an ego on him, he’s at least a functional human being. Jane has a much bigger ego and he can’t function in the real world. This is a disaster waiting to happen but at least it’s happening next season. I’m sure Jane will suffer no repercussions for faking a letter from a serial killer and putting the FBI on high alert either. That’s another problem.
Orphan Black #2×05 – “Ipsa Scientia Potestas Est” – Now that Helena and Sarah are back together like the good sisters they are (or not), Rachel is not at all happy that her happy home has been invaded or that her boy-toy has been gutted on the floor. Besides, do you know how hard it is to clean up blood stains? This week we get to see a bit more of Rachel’s past and confirm that Daniel, Rachel’s right hand man and lover, was also her watcher. It was a bit surprising to find out that not only does Rachel have a watcher, she knows all about it and in fact insists that someone be around to report her data to Leekie, even if she thinks that her watcher is her employee and perhaps her property as well. Rachel mourns Daniel’s loss for about 30 seconds before offering the job to Paul and Paul, not being a fool, takes it, along with all it entails. Meanwhile, Sarah shows up at Felix’s loft with Helena in tow and insists he help them. He’s none too happy about it, after all, Helena is kind of a bitch and treats Felix like a loser, even after Sarah calls her “meathead” and insists that he’s her family, even though he really isn’t. But anyhow, Sarah wants Felix to take Helena over to Art’s place where he can interrogate her. Felix has to hurry, he’s got a hot date and he doesn’t dare miss that. Art handcuffs Helena and tries to grill her for information, even though she’s more interested in his fish. Rachel gives Paul his first assignment, to “dispose” of the gun that Daniel used to shoot the cop on Cal’s property. While Felix and his friend are getting ready to get it on, cops push open his door (come on, nobody ever heard of a lock?) and then Paul arrives, forces Felix down and presses the gun into his hand. Paul then calls Sarah and tells her that Felix is going to be implicated in a murder is she doesn’t turn herself in to Rachel. The scene is pretty over the top and as Art says later, just fingerprints on a gun won’t send him up the river. It seems like a pretty weak play for someone who has the money and power that Rachel does. We also find out, for certain, that Cal isn’t what he seems, he’s got fake IDs, extra money and a gun stashed away in the RV with Kira. My initial reaction wasn’t that he’s necessarily a danger to Kira, but the cabinet with the gun doesn’t seem to be locked, maybe she’ll end up with a loaded gun. I’m not sure who he works for though, my first thought was Rachel but she didn’t seem interested when Paul mentioned that Sarah was back with Kira’s father. Maybe it’s Leekie and he’s acting as Sarah’s new monitor. Who knows. Art really isn’t that great at being a cop, it seems, because Helena managed to overpower him and make good her escape. Cosima finally confronts Leekie and he tells her the truth, that Rachel won’t allow him to work on a cure for her until she gets Sarah. Of course, Leekie doesn’t want to do that and they all work up an experimental cure that they begin using on Cosima to try and save her life. Sarah pops by for a visit and they talk, I guess we’re supposed to start sympathizing with Leekie, whose Dyad Institute created the clones, just because they could, but it looks like Rachel’s father, thought to have died in a fire, might still be around so there’s more potential for intrigue there. While Paul and Rachel are having rough sex in her apartment, Helena grabs a sniper rifle and goes off to shoot them dead. Oh, and she has a creepy Barbie head too. Sarah and Art arrive just in time to stop her by appealing to her sense of family. At least they didn’t put another bullet in her chest. And let’s not forget the crazy Proletheans whose farm Helena escaped from, they’re not through with her. Henrik tries to get Gracie to tell him what happened but she’s had her mouth sewn shut. That makes sense. Initially, I was thinking that she must have sewn her own mouth shut to keep from answering questions but that’s not all that clear now. They desperately want Helena back, someone has to serve as incubator for the newly fertilized egg. Absolutely nobody in this series is what they seem and I don’t know that we can trust any of them. Sarah may be lying to Helena, just to get Felix back. Leekie is probably lying to Cosima and Delphine. Rachel is lying to everyone. Cal is lying. Paul is lying. If Allison was in this week’s episode, she’d be lying too. So what’s really going on? We’ll have to wait and see.
Penny Dreadful #1×02 – “Séance” – There was a lot to like in the first episode of Penny Dreadful but it’s easy to make a compelling pilot, where lots of shows fall down is in the second episode. That is not the case here, Penny Dreadful’s “Séance” is every bit as good as the pilot and maybe a little bit better. Following the events of the first episode, Ethan has gone and done what most people would do, got drunk on the docks and he continues this trend by walking into a bar and ordering a whiskey. It isn’t long until he encounters Brona Croft, played by Billie Piper (who I hate and don’t care who knows about it). Brona is an Irish immigrant with tuberculosis who makes money through a combination of prostitution and modeling. She thinks more the latter, I’m pretty sure more the former. Brona and Ethan strike up a friendship, although not with as many benefits as you might think right off the bat. It doesn’t keep her out of bed for long though, she hooks up with Dorian Gray following an invitation to “model”. As I suspected last week, they’re throwing a bunch of Victorian-era characters into the series and Dorian, with his apparent love of paintings, fits right in. While he’s a dark character from the start, we find that he’s really attracted to damaged women and it’s Brona’s tuberculosis-inspired hacking up blood that turns him on the most. Ick. But this week is full of ick, Vanessa and Sir Malcolm attend a seance given my Madam Kali in an attempt to get more information by our strange historian who had offered to translate the hieroglyphics they found tattooed on a vampire should they come to his house for a party. It’s a strange party to be sure as Kali discovers that there’s something evil lurking inside of Vanessa and, when the evil possess her, Vanessa proclaims that Sir Malcolm left his son Peter behind to die a horrible death of dysentery while he was off on one of his expeditions. Taken over by a second spirit, she again attacks Malcolm, claiming he’s hot for his missing daughter Mina and suggesting that perhaps he’s done more than lust after her. When she recovers, the rest of the partygoers recoil in shock but not the historian, he wants to talk to them about the hieroglyphics. He reveals that at least some of the writings record an apocalyptic warning about the Egyptian deity Amun and his consort Amunet. Apparently, the two are never supposed to be depicted together and if they are, it could be bad. We’re meant to believe that one of the spirits inhabiting Vanessa is Amunet and she takes to the news by having sex with a random man in a London alley, watched very creepily by Dorian. Of course, the ending of the last episode was Victor Frankenstein bringing a body back to life and this week, we find that it’s not the mindless monster we may have thought, he’s intelligent and even picks his own name, Proteus. Instead of a scientist and his creation, we see the relationship is much more emotional, almost like a father and son. At first, Victor educates Proteus, but eventually they take to the streets of London where Proteus is amazed at all of the things he sees. They meet Ethan and Brona, taking a walk and even though Proteus does quite well, only stumbling once or twice in talking to them, it’s clear that they sense something isn’t quite right with young Mr. Proteus. However, things are not as they seem and when Victor and Proteus return to his basement laboratory, a hand suddenly thrusts through Proteus’ chest and his body falls down on the ground around this new creature, twitching. That’s shocking enough but Victor clearly knows this new creature, it’s the murderous madman who has been threatening the streets of London. I suppose this is going to turn out to be Jack the Ripper and Victor has either created the creature or has protected it in some fashion. I’m sure we’ll find that out in the next episode. So now we have vampires, bodies brought back from the dead, at least for a little while, Dorian Gray and probably Jack the Ripper and we’re still on the second episode. The writing, so far, has been excellent, which isn’t surprising when you realize the show was created by John Logan, who is responsible for writing such feature films as Skyfall, Gladiator and The Aviator. Logan, who is in the process of writing the next two Bond films as he works on Penny Dreadful, scores some Bond alumni who don’t usually work in television, Eva Green from Casino Royale, Timothy Dalton, who was Bond in several movies and Rory Kinnear from the aforementioned Skyfall. He crafts a world that is dark, dank and dismal, where everything is filthy and life is cheap. That’s not the kind of world I typically like, truth be told, and the fact that we had to gratuitous sex scenes this week that really had no part in the story, they were there to titillate the audience, just like is done in Game of Thrones, but I can be forgiving, at least so far, because the characters are excellent and the actors right on their mark. With only six more episodes of the series this year, I’m hoping that Logan can continue his world and bring all of the characters into a single narrative.
Warehouse 13 #5×06 – “Endless” – I’ll be honest, when I saw that the series finale of Warehouse 13 appeared to be a clip show, I wasn’t impressed. I don’t like clip shows anyhow but to have the last episode of a series that has run 5 years be a clip show? That’s inexcusable. Luckily, it wasn’t as bad as all that. Mrs. Frederic announces that the Warehouse is going to be moving, leaving the entire team out of a job. That’s a bit odd since they just spent the last couple of episodes desperately trying to stop the Warehouse from moving, it seems a bit bizarre to use the same bit so soon. Some of the characters are very accepting of the movie, some are fatalistic, some are angry and some are upset, but it doesn’t matter, no matter what they do, it’s moving. Why? We just don’t know. We also don’t know where. It seems to have come out of the blue. So Mrs. Frederic calls the team together to huddle around a magical table artifact that is going to store their “defining moments” as Warehouse agents for future generations. First, she demonstrates how it works, she displays H.G. Wells’ defining moment, using Harriet Tubman’s thimble to stop Jack the Ripper. It was nice to see H.G. again, if only in a pseudo-flashback and that’s what makes this not a real clip show, all of the clips we see are new footage, albeit stashed in the middle of a bunch of quick sequences from the actual show. Artie, Steve, Claudia, Pete, Myka and Mrs. Frederic are expected to stick their hand onto the table and the Warehouse will select a single event to be recorded for posterity. Claudia starts by contributing a memory of an artifact gone wild, Pete had activated the 42nd Street sign, causing everyone in the Warehouse to dance, along with a bunch of showgirls, until they dropped dead of exhaustion. Nothing they tried worked, the showgirls could not be stopped by any of the super secure vaults and it took an ingenious idea by Artie, using Busby Berkley’s flask and Goodman Beggar’s tin pan, but in order to charge the sign, it requires a showstopping dance number and only Claudia has enough energy to do it. This was really an opportunity for Allison Scagliotti to do some serious tap-dancing. Apparently, it’s something she’s good at, she’s danced in various music videos and other projects before. Mrs. Frederic says that this memory was when Claudia decided she didn’t want to be the caretaker of the Warehouse after all, she wanted to remain an agent. Everyone is stunned, but not as much as what comes next, when Artie puts a memory in that shows him and his adult son as Warehouse agents, solving an artifact-related mystery that only appears for 25 minutes, one day per year. Artie’s son Scott figures out how to break the cycle and everyone is shocked that Artie has a son that nobody has ever mentioned before. Artie says that his son lives in San Diego and they see each other when they go to Comicon every year. Claudia is mad and stomps off, how dare Artie keep that from her! Well hell, he’s kept tons of stuff from Claudia, including her sister, you’d think she’d be used to it by now. There’s a lot of cute “father/daughter” stuff between Artie and Claudia in this episode and he essentially gives her permission not to want to be caretaker if that’s what she really wants. Meanwhile, Pete goes off to read the manual for the Warehouse, something he’s been saying he’ll do since the show started, but it turns out to be an entire library, not a single book. Myka wants Pete to give up and let the Warehouse move but Pete refuses. Myka goes back to provide her “defining moment”, arriving back at the table as Mrs. Frederic and Steve are laughing over another moment. This is really something that confused me. Are they just watching other people’s defining moments or is Mrs. Frederic loading the table with her own? At first, I thought she did one, then Steve did one, but both of them provided theirs later. Anyhow, Myka comes in and sticks her hand on the table. Her defining moment is when she and Pete went undercover to nab a group of ninja cat burglars using Kitsune artifact from Japan. She says it was her defining moment because it gave her the opportunity to use both her fighting skills and her intellect, but Steve says no, it was the first time she realized she had feelings for Pete. She runs away from the table confused. Artie is wandering around the Warehouse, upset that he’s given his entire life to the place and now it’s being ripped away from him. He yells that it’s unfair and the Warehouse rolls an apple at him, a callback to the idea that when the Warehouse likes someone, there is the unmistakable smell of apples. Meanwhile, Steve is reluctant to give his memory, he’s afraid that he’s not really qualified to be an agent and nothing he’s done is a defining moment but Mrs. Frederic says to let the Warehouse decide. His moment was the time that he and Claudia were reduced in size, put in a miniature submarine and stuffed into Artie’s body to retrieve an artifact that had lodged in his heart. In a scene straight out of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Steve gets shot through Artie’s heart valve and bags the artifact, saving Artie’s life. Pete continues to try to stop the Warehouse from moving by trying to shove the cornerstone, with the compass, into the furnace. He admits that he’s afraid that, by losing the Warehouse, he’ll lose everything that’s made his life meaningful. Myka admits that she loves him and kisses him and, on the way to the bedroom, convinces him to go provide his memory. Sorry, although it was painfully and blatantly obvious that they were going to get together and I had resigned myself to it, the idea that two professional agents would blow off work, especially the last day of work they had, for a roll in the hay was absurd. Anyhow, Pete goes back and sticks his hand on the table and we see that he doesn’t have just one moment, every second he was in the Warehouse was his defining moment. Mrs. Frederic tells Pete to explain why this is, he’s really the emotional center of the show, even though he doesn’t seem like it most of the time. Artie gets a ping and the Warehouse is moving and there are still artifacts they need to find. Mrs. Frederic tells Steve that “this particular wonder is endless.” We jump decades into the future and three uniformed agents are checking a machine. Claudia, seemingly having embraced her destiny as caretaker, appears and tells them that the Warehouse “almost moves” sometimes and then disappears, just like Mrs. Frederic does. She’s called Ms. D and while the agents wear some pretty bizarre uniforms, it was great that the guy in the middle is show-runner Jack Kenny. I love cameos. We do an epic pull back across the Warehouse and the show ends. Oh, and in the end sequence, I don’t know why, but I could have sworn I heard them talking about Obama’s testicle, even though I know it was basketball. So there you have it. It was better than I expected going into it, but not as good as it should have been and I think that’s because they didn’t have a lot of time to wrap things up and what time they did have, they largely wasted. The whole Myka/Pete thing should have been better explored, it was just shoehorned in at the last moment. Myka should have had to deal with the memory of what happened when she fell for her last partner with the Secret Service in the first season. It all seemed to come out of the blue. There were other characters who really deserved to have a cameo. Leena managed to come back in a memory where she told Mrs. Frederic that she’d die in the Warehouse and there wasn’t anything that anyone could do to stop it. But what about Dr. Vanessa Calder? At the very least, there should have been some memory of her from Artie, after all, she’s his love interest, even if we saw she married someone else in an alternate future. She was strangely absent. And I guess they ran out of money at the end because Claudia “decades in the future” looked exactly like Claudia today. No makeup people? Yes, I know that when you become caretaker, you stop aging, I think Mrs. Frederic stopped aging somewhere in the late 1800s, but it looks like she took over the next day and that disagrees with Artie’s advice to go do what she wanted to do and come back to the Warehouse when she felt the time was right. And why did the Warehouse never move? That’s not explained at all, in fact, it makes no sense for this episode to have happened as it did, with all the agents needing to get their significant moments on file, if the Warehouse wasn’t going anywhere. This thing ended up alright, but it should have been better and, like we saw with Fringe, giving a show a couple of episodes to wrap things up almost always fails because they just stuff ideas that they could never do before into the show, now that they don’t have to worry about ratings. Farewell Warehouse 13, you’re one of the last of the classic fun shows on SyFy, the last being Haven. Too bad, there was a time when I’d actually turn on the channel. Those days are coming to an end.
Best of the Week: It was a tough call but I think Arrow squeaks it out in the end. It wasn’t perfect. I think Amanda Waller’s actions are still absurd, but all of the pieces fell into place in the end to make it a good season finale. It wasn’t epic like last year, they could have done things better, but it was very satisfying and that’s what really matters in the end.
Worst of the Week: It has to go to Mentalist for doing what it makes no sense to do. Cho was right a while back when he says Jane and Lisbon are more brother and sister than anything else. They do not belong together, no matter how badly the moronic ‘shippers want them to be. This season finale was a mess on a lot of levels but the capper was shoehorning these two characters together. It’s unfortunate that they got renewed for a 7th season, I very well might not watch.
Other Stuff I Watched: Son of Batman, Tanked #6×05-6×08