I was actually really surprised at how dead this week was. I knew it was going to be slow, being Christmas week and all, but wow… ONE WHOLE SHOW! That’s the slowest I’ve ever seen it! Next week won’t be much better. Therefore, no best of/worst of, here’s the review and the whole ton of Charlie Chan movies I watched to fill my time.
Atlantis #1×12 – “Touched by the Gods – Part One” – This show is such a mess, I’m not sure it can be saved no matter what they do. As we saw at the end of the last episode, Jason has been ordered by Circe to kill Queen Pasiphae or all of them will die. Pasiphae, meanwhile, is tending to King Minos, who she’s slowly poisoning to death and Minos is entirely clueless. It’s not like she doesn’t take a long time fumbling around every time she gets him a drink, a brain-dead wildebeest could figure it out, but no, not in this show. Minos calls Pasiphae and Ariadne and makes them promise that they’ll take care of each other. Both promise but it’s obvious they have their fingers crossed. They both hate each other. Ariadne says later that she’s often considered murdering her step-mother and has no problems when Jason makes an aborted attempt himself. Pasiphae, meanwhile, wants Ariadne dead, she has for a long time because she’s been grooming her own successor to the throne. Of course, Hercules and Pythagoras volunteer, nay, force themselves on Jason and help him with the plan to sneak into the palace. Frankly, Jason would have been better off on his own because, as usual, Hercules in particular, but Pythagoras as well is pretty much useless. This guy is supposed to be a demigod? Seriously? In what pathetic pantheon? Anyhow, they manage to get into the palace and Jason is standing over a sleeping Pasiphae with his sword and he can’t bring himself to kill her. Yes, she’s been the major villain this entire series, although Jason doesn’t really know the depths of her villiany, but no, he can’t pull the metaphorical trigger and off the stupid bitch. She awakes and sees a shadowy figure over her bed and screams, bringing the guards. Jason tries to escape but catches an arrow in his side and goes the only place he can think of to go, Ariadne’s room. She covers for him, telling the guards she hasn’t seen anything and they spend the night together, although not really. In the morning, Jason makes good his escape and gets back to Hercules and Pythagoras, who were supposed to wait for him and extract him from the palace but instead they ran to save their own worthless hides. Ariadne confides in her chamber maid that she hid the attacker and the maid goes straight to Pasiphae. Seeing her chance handed to her on a silver platter, Pasiphae puts Ariadne on trial for treason and when Ariadne doesn’t know how to lie, she railroads her into a quick death sentence, leaving Jason to try to figure out how to rescue her. Well here’s the facts pal, if you hadn’t left your blood-soaked rags all over Ariadne’s room in the first place, but had taken it with you, she never would have been caught. Fault? Jason. Again. And this is the guy with the destiny? Destiny for what? Screwing up the lives of everyone he meets? Seriously, this show just sucks. The guards are charged with searching the entire palace, yet they just conveniently fail to search Ariadne’s room. Of course, if they had, the jig would have been up, but no, we can’t have the guards actually be competent, can we? Minos is dumb, the guards are dumb, but worst of all, Jason is dumb and he’s supposed to come from an advanced modern world with a scientific background. Why has he completely forgotten where he came from? It makes no sense to me at all. I’m so glad I’m dropping this show after the next episode.
Other Stuff I Watched: Charlie Chan: City of Darkness (1939), Charlie Chan and the Wax Museum (1940), Charlie Chan in Panama (1940), Charlie Chan: Murder Over New York (1940), Charlie Chan in Dangerous Money (1946), Charlie Chan in The Trap (1946), Charlie Chan in The Chinese Ring (1947), Charlie Chan in The Sky Dragon (1949), Doctor Who Invasion Earth 2150 (Rifftrax)