I gave Civil War a pretty lackluster review, but as I was poking around, looking at other reviews, I seem to be largely alone. One review even asked a bunch of questions about the movie itself and I thought I’d go ahead and answer those to illustrate why I really didn’t find the movie all that amazing.
So let’s get started.
1. Were you OK with the explanation as to why Hulk and Thor weren’t around? Felt a little rushed to me, but I guess there’s no reason to waste exposition on characters who aren’t even in the movie. Also: where the heck were Nick Fury and Maria Hill? Do you miss having Pepper Potts around? And what happened to Happy Hogan anyway?
I understood why these characters weren’t around from a purely economic perspective. Story-wise, they didn’t even try. I already gave my perspective on Pepper Potts and why she really needed to be in the movie to keep Tony under control, but of course, she’s gone because her actress almost certainly isn’t coming back. I’m sure they didn’t want to pay for cameos of Nick Fury or Maria Hill either. With as much on-screen talent as they already had, paying more for meaningless cameos probably wasn’t in the budget.
2. Which newcomer is cooler? Black Panther or Spider-Man? I’d probably vote for the former, slightly, if only because he’s brand-new to movies, whereas Spider-Man is most definitely not. Great performances by Boseman and Holland, too. It’s additions like these that keep the fans coming back. They’re not just cool comic book heroes; they’re three-dimensional characters full of personality, and that’s what fans appreciate.
Neither belonged in the movie, both were included to push their upcoming solo films. And as much as I can see Black Panther’s point, he’s supposed to be a genius, not controlled by his emotions, but here he was all about revenge and I didn’t buy it. And sorry, I don’t like Peter Parker’s hot young aunt May. I also thought that, while Black Panther’s story was generally consistent with the character, they didn’t actually explain anything very well. His point at the end about nobody coming to get Bucky in Wakanda, then showing a big stone jaguar, said nothing at all about Wakanda being one of the strongest, most technologically advanced countries on the planet, that nobody would ever invade and survive. They tried to turn it into something mystic, which I think sucks.
3. Were you slightly underwhelmed by the Head Baddie? Sure, he had an elaborate plan to get all the superheroes fighting, but he doesn’t leave all that much of an impact as a menacing villain. On the other hand, that may have been the point. He was just a pissed-off bureaucrat.
Completely. But then again, it came off as a really ridiculous and overly-complex plan to begin with. I don’t watch these movies for pissed-off bureaucrats, I watch it to see good fighting evil and sorry, Zemo wasn’t all that evil. Or much of anything else for that matter.
4. Is the airport battle one of the best action sequences you’ve ever seen? It has to be one of the most amusing, certainly. Everyone gets a chance to shine, but Ant-Man was probably the standout for me. (Get it?)
I found it ridiculous, especially after Tony Stark was pushing for the Accords because the Avengers were causing a ridiculous amount of death and destruction, then they go to an airport and cause nothing but death and destruction. Tony’s side didn’t even pretend they should control themselves.
5. Having seen the film, which team would you join? The screenwriters did a fine job of showing both sides of the “Sokovia Accords” argument — at least until Act III, anyway — but do you side with Team Iron Man (the Avengers should sign the paperwork and allow for UN oversight) or Team Captain America (the Avengers are the good guys and should be allowed to police themselves)? Frankly I see both sides of the issue, and that’s one of the reasons I liked this movie so much.
Neither? I detest both sides of the fight, although if I had to pick one, it would be Cap’s side, although not actually joining Cap, because I value freedom. Besides, what could the UN do to actually stop most of the Avengers if they said no? How could they actually force them to retire? The whole idea of the Sokovia Accords was stupid, but this is the UN, what do you expect?
6. Did your eyeballs get just a little bit misty during the funeral scene? (Mine did.)
Nope. Heck, I figured Peggy Carter had died a couple of years ago, especially after the scene in an earlier Captain America movie where he went to see her in the hospital and she wasn’t doing well.
7. What Easter Eggs did you notice? (I rarely catch any of those the first time around.)
This really isn’t the place to go into it, Marvel spends a lot of time throwing references into their movies and I usually catch most of them, but there really wasn’t anything that stood out to me as particularly memorable this time around. Some movies, you just have to stop the film and be amazed for a couple of minutes. This time, I went “okay, that was a thing” and moved on.
8. Were you bummed out when Brock Rumlow (a.k.a. Crossbones, aka Frank Grillo) got melted because he’s such a badass villain? (I was!)
Nobody ever really dies in comic books, or comic book movies. Death doesn’t mean a thing to me in these things, people die and then come back all the time.
9. Didn’t you want to see Black Panther’s sister kick some ass? I surely did.
Not really. That’s something for the Black Panther movie, not for a Captain America movie. Black Panther felt really shoehorned into the movie. He had a great performance, but I wouldn’t have minded both he and Spider-Man being cut entirely.
10. With all due respect to Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, how freaking perfect is Tom Holland as Peter Parker / Spider-Man? He’s a wise-assed motor-mouth who actually looks like a kid. That’s the Peter Parker I remember from the comic books.
He was fine. I never liked Garfield’s Spider-Man and Maguire’s fell apart after the first movie. I guess I could get used to Holland, but I’ve already pointed out some places where their entire concept of Spider-Man is simply wrong. We’ll have to see after they get the movie out, I guess.
Frankly, none of these questions really made me think better of the movie. It isn’t awful but it isn’t great either. It’s too long, it has too many characters, it has too many plotlines and it just isn’t a Captain America movie. Nothing anyone can say changes any of that. Those are my primary reasons for not enjoying my time, those and the whole Civil War storyline, and so long as those are true, I’m just not going to find this movie as amazing as many people do. It isn’t. You’re welcome to disagree.