A little while ago, I reviewed Dynamite’s Six Million Dollar Man Season Six, now I turn my attention to their second series, a continuation of the Bionic Woman show. The first arc, or maybe the whole comic, I don’t know for sure, takes up four issues and throws Jamie Sommers into places beyond her wildest dreams. Government conspiracies, a crazed general and robots. Oh yes, robots.
So here’s where I jump into the first (0r maybe only) 4-issue arc of The Bionic Woman Season Four.
After a mysterious Chinese spy satellite crashes in Mexico, Oscar Goldman sends Jamie to recover it, but when she arrives, she’s not alone, a NASA general named Morales who has gone off the reservation and created his own private town of brainwashed robotic citizens. In space. Yes, you heard me. He aims to add Jamie to his menagerie, but thanks to a convenient upgrade by Rudy, she cannot have her memories wiped. There’s an organized resistance, four people who want to get back to Earth, who help Jamie to take control and save the entire town.
Like the Six Million Dollar Man comic, the art sucks. I have no idea why Dynamite has such trouble finding a decent artist and yes, maybe they don’t have the rights to the likenesses of the actors because wow, these look nothing at all like Lindsay Wagner or Lee Majors. In fact, I was thinking that Jamie Sommers looked a lot closer to Farrah Fawcett in this comic. The Six Million Dollar Man looks more like Captain America than anyone else. Big, blond and buff.
While I wasn’t hard on the SMDM comic as I’m about to be here, there’s something to be said about voice. When I was reading the SMDM comic, I could sort of imagine Lee Majors’ voice saying the Steve Austin lines. Here, there’s no way. This is not a television-accurate portrayal of the Bionic Woman, there is no way in hell that these words would ever come out of the television version of the character.
Also, the robots are just retreads of the classic fembots, robots with face plates that come off, etc. From what I saw, there’s no indication that any of the town’s citizens are still human in any way, there’s lots of violence and lots of destruction, but not a drop of blood from an actual flesh wound anywhere. That leads me to believe that Jamie had nobody to actually rescue because there is nobody actually alive in the town.
It looks like just a four issue mini but I haven’t seen for absolutely sure if there will be any more issues. I love the Bionic Woman TV show, I have it all on DVD, I’ve watched the whole run relatively recently, but this really doesn’t feel like a continuation of the series, it feels sloppy and lazy. The story isn’t exciting, there’s no real danger and let’s be honest, because we never see the stakes of failure, there’s no real feeling of victory. Jamie Sommers crashed a giant spaceship into the ocean and apparently, everyone survived without any shown injury. And then there’s a giant congressional inquiry and Jamie, the only witness, can’t show because she’s on a date. Oh brother.