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Belated Movie Review: Gravity (2013) - Cephus' Corner

Belated Movie Review: Gravity (2013)

July 17th, 2016

I kept meaning to see this movie.  Everyone said it was amazing, but I just never got around to it until now. For some reason, every time I almost did, something came up and I had to pass.

But now I have and I find it hard to believe that almost 3 years have passed since it came out.  Does it stand up to critical scrutiny?  Was it worth all of the hype?  Should I have seen it earlier?

Well you’re going to have to go below the fold to find out.  Let’s go see if Gravity is as good as everyone says.And wow, I’m actually really disappointed.  I mean, I wasn’t expecting high art, but I was expecting something of substance and I got none of that.  I know that’s going to put me on a lot of people’s shit list, but I don’t care.  It really wasn’t that good.  I mean sure, technically it looks great, but there isn’t any significant story and I kept finding myself wishing that I was watching an entirely different movie.  Heck, the story about the Russians blowing up their own spy satellite sounds like a much better movie than this one.

Frankly, there isn’t a story here.  We start with characters we don’t know on a shuttle mission we are not invested in, going through a disaster that we can’t identify with and honestly, I was never attached to any of the characters so I didn’t are if they lived or died.  It was just mindless action, nothing more.  I have no idea why I was supposed to care about either Clooney or Bullock at all.  Neither were any more likeable than the guy with the hole in his face and we never knew him a bit.  There just is no substance to this film at all.  It is the perfect example of style over substance.  All flash, zero value.

Now maybe I expect more from a movie, I don’t know.  I want to see an engaging story with interesting characters that get me invested in their adventures.  Instead, I got a non-existent story with bland characters, ridiculous dialogue and a predictable ending.  Seriously, did anyone think Bullock wasn’t getting back to Earth?  Even for a second?  Not I.

And the whole thing didn’t make sense at all.  Exactly why was Sandra Bullock doing repairs on the Hubble?  She’s a MEDICAL DOCTOR!  She isn’t qualified to be an astronaut!  In fact, she isn’t qualified to do much of anything in this movie.  It struck me like the drillers in Armageddon, there’s no way NASA would send someone that unqualified up unless it was a ridiculous emergency and nothing in this movie indicates that it was.  Besides, Sandra Bullock’s character panicked at every turn, clearly she never passed any of the psychological testing that would be required for the job, it was just a mess.

Sorry to people who liked this stylistic but unsubstantive mess, but that’s just what it is.

Rating:

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Cephus' Corner

A Place to Share my Geeky Side With the World. Comics, movies, TV, collecting, you name it, I indulge in it.