Seriously, I have no idea why anyone likes these movies. Okay, the first one, maybe the second, was funny on a “so bad it’s good” scale, but the last two have just been terrible by every conceivable metric. I’m not even going to pretend I liked this thing one bit, but I suppose I have to explain that, so let’s get to the review of Sharknado: the 4th Awakens.Five years after the end of the last movie, April is supposedly dead (although they already announced she was coming back) and there have been no more sharknados. Tech genius Aston Reynolds has developed a technology that stops them from occurring, housed in pods across the country. But when Finn goes to Vegas to meet up with his cousin and have a rest, a giant sandstorm happens that sweeps up all of the sharks from Reynolds’ new shark-themed super-hotel and we’ve got a sharknado that the pods can’t stop!
Damn, this thing is dumb. It isn’t even interesting, it’s just a vehicle for idiotic quasi-celebrity cameos and ham-fisted ripoffs of much better movies. Even the name of the movie means nothing, there aren’t any worthwhile references to Star Wars, it’s just a means to scream “look at us!” And the jokes are ridiculously ham-fisted. Take the scene where Finn goes to the Chainsaw store. Yes, there is a chainsaw store. And it’s owned by Caroline Williams (the heroine from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) and Dan Yeager (who played Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D). Now that could be a cute wink to a horror film literate audience, but instead they have to have Williams say “Texas chainsaw massacre!” because they don’t think people who would tune into this garbage are smart enough to get it.
I guess the whole idea of sharknadoes has worn thin, so much so that they have to throw in every kind of tornado they can think of. Boulder-nados. Lava-nadoes. Nuclear-nadoes. If they can tack “nado” on the end of it, they throw it in there. None of it is funny.
And the amount of ridiculous advertising pandering is completely over the top. At the beginning, during the sandstorm in Vegas, you get Finn driving around in a Dodge, blatantly driving up the Stratosphere hotel, right in front of a billboard for Xfinity. It couldn’t be more blatant if they tried.
Okay, I know that The Asylum makes horrible movies. It’s their shtick, but this one was ludicrous. The effects were worse than things you find on YouTube. Gary Busey, who played April’s scientist father, never played with anyone else, it was clear he was on a stage by himself in front of the worst green screen in the history of bad movies.
I didn’t smile even once in this piece of crap. Not once. It was just awful the whole way through. It was a groan-fest. I’m done with these. If they make Sharknado 5, I won’t watch it. I shouldn’t have watched this one. They just keep getting worse. I’ve got better things to do with my time.